Genesis 38:6-10 tells the story of an odd man named Onan. Sadly, his story has been misused by many preachers for a long time. As a result, a lot of people have walked around with a lot of needless guilt.

This is another post in AFSOC’s “Love and Sex” category. More so in the last 100 years than at any other time in Christian history, information about sex has become separated from information about the God that created it. As a result, because “nature abhors a vacuum”, a lot of misinformation has filled society. And, some of that misinformation (and even disinformation!) has crept into modern church congregations.

The backstory matters

In the paragraph shown, readers learn that Onan is the second son of Judah, The mother is a Canaanite woman named Shua. This is problematic, because God had promised Abraham that He would displace the Canaanites and then give the Israelites that land. Mingling with the Canaanites was prohibited. And yet, as soon as he left home, Judah (from whom the Jews are named) married a Canaanite woman and promptly fathered his first son, named Er. Then, Er behaved wickedly, and so God killed him.

Even early in their history, it had become a custom of the Israelites that, if a husband died without a son, then the brother next in line was required to have sex with the widow and thus father a son to leave a legacy for the deceased brother. So, Judah told his son Onan to “go into” his brother’s wife and perform his “duty”. But, in a moment of greed, Onan decides that any heir would not be his anyway, and so he refuses to father a child. (Notably, he didn’t refuse to have sex with his sister-in-law. He only refused to father a child. And, he did so by “spilling his seed” [i.e.: “shooting his load”] onto the ground.)

Preachers and others have used that story as purported “proof” that the Bible prohibits masturbation — which they refer to euphamistically as “the sin of Onan”. But, there are several problems with that “logic”. At this point, if you have not already read “The Book of WOW“, then it might be a good idea to take a break from this and read that examination of the Song of Solomon. The best guide for sex was written by the God that invented it. As a result, Christian married couples should be having the best sex of anyone around.

But, what about…?

But, what about never-married people? Widows and widowers? What about when one’s spouse is out of town on a business trip? Military deployment? Or, just because…? What about when “solo sex” is the only available option? Scripture says that God “will make a way of escape” when temptation is more than one can bear (1st Corinthians 10:13). Is masturbation that way of escape if the temptation is adultery or other sinful acts? I have been reading the Holy Bible for five decades, and I cannot name a single Scripture that prohibits masturbation. Claiming that it is “the sin of Onan” is not supported by the only verses that mention his name. Onan’s sins were pride, greed, and disobedience, Masturbation isn’t on the list.

Heavy burdens

Jesus warned the people of His day regarding the religious leaders that “lay heavy burdens upon other men’s backs, but lift not a finger to help them”. (Matthew 23:4) In my experience, the most egregious example of that regards modern preachers telling people that masturbation is a sin. They often do that right after telling them that looking at someone lustfully is a sin. Thus, the person feels “boxed in” with no way of escape. Guilt and shame swell up inside them. And then, that guilt and shame do damage to both the person that sought answers and often to others around that person. That sort of situation destroys lives and marriages. Meanwhile, such pastors “lift not a finger to help them”.

There is plenty more to say about this topic, but I wanted to keep this brief. If you have questions, then please post them in the Comments section. I will reply. My hope is that this post will become a focal point of discussion of a topic that has long been brushed aside — much to the detriment of people needing advice versus shaming. I promise that the answers will have a Bible foundation — which should resolve the problem, because it is the authoritative source.

I have long thought that “somebody” should take a stand and tell people what the Bible says about sex and where the boundaries are. Now that I have founded AFSOC, I’m taking that stand. As this site grows (and, eventually, we have a core congregation with a physical building), my long-term goal is to host day-long seminars on the topic of how to have hot sex within marriage. (The link is to another site with a similar viewpoint.) If this interests you, then please subscribe to this blog and consider supporting us. Thank you.