A disturbing and dangerous trend has crept into modern Christianity — ushered in by intellectually lazy “people pleaser” pastors. The trend is to label sin as “freedom in Christ”. And, nowhere is this trend more prevalent than in the area of sex. It underscores the fact that were are living in not only the End Times, but also in the Last Days. The warnings of 1st Timothy 4:1 and 2nd Peter 3:3 should be read and taken to heart.
(NOTE: At this point, if you have not already read “The Book of WOW“, then you should pause and read it, as a foundation, before continuing with this post.)
Outside the box, and the bubble…
I did not become a pastor until late in life. So, unlike many other pastors, I did not grow up inside “the church bubble”, and I certainly was not a “preacher’s kid” that got sent to college to learn to carry on “the family business”. My father was a former boxer, and then later a steel rigger, that had left school after the eighth grade to work in a shoe factory to help support his family during the Great Depression of the early 1930s. As a former career military law enforcement supervisor, and then later a deputy sheriff in a jail, I saw — and lived — life on the “leading edge”. I know that God is real and that the Holy Bible is true, because I have seen what life is like without God and His Word. So, I am not speaking from a “prudish” viewpoint, but rather a “prudent” one.
When I was growing up six decades ago, pastors did not talk about sex at all. As a sad result, a generation or two got their knowledge of sex from “worldly” sources. It is no mere coincidence that pornography rapidly grew in popularity during that same time. It is also no mere coincidence that the Church of Satan and the abortion business also grew in popularity during that same time. Sex is a powerful force in all of life, and that includes in people that are made in God’s image. Never lose sight of the fact that God Himself is the inventor of sex. So, when done properly, it should be wonderful, satisfying, and God-pleasing. And, when done improperly, then Ephesians 5:12 applies: “For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret.”
And, yet, I must….
As I have written in detail in another post, anal sex is not allowed — not even within marriage. And, any pastor that tells you otherwise is “greasing the skids of the roller-coaster ride to Hell”. So, I will not go into that topic any further in this post. Click the link if you need to read the details. (Especially read the comment that I posted at the bottom. It is based upon a comment that I read from a woman on a Christian site that she was “offering all her holes, in any order” to her husband. By the second part of that quote, she was endorsing an even more disgusting practice known as “A2M”. Look it up for yourself, if you must….)
I wish that I could stop writing here. But, sadly, I must address other disgusting practices that have crept into Christian marriages, and often with the endorsement (or, at least, the tacit silence) of pastors. That last fact should make the reader feel sad, angry, and disgusted by their poor leadership.
Next is the practice known as “eating the creampie”. For anyone with a measure of sexual experience, you should be able to figure out what that means. The Song of Solomon allows for a heterosexual, married couple to enjoy oral sex. This includes enjoying the smell and taste of the spouse’s “juices”. BUT, nowhere in the Holy Bible is there a verse that allows a person to taste their own juices. That is simply disgusting. It is akin to homosexuality — which is not only a sin, but also an “abomination” before God. (The word “abomination” comes from a Hebrew root word that means “to vomit”. Therefore, an abomination is a sin that makes even God want to puke!)
Sadly, the lazy, people-pleasing “pastors” are counseling couples seeking marriage (or couples whose marriage is in trouble already) that after they have a marriage certificate in hand, then “anything goes” in the sexual realm. That is not true!! And, neither is the argument that something prohibited in the Old Testament is somehow now allowed under the New Testament. Jesus did not suffer a tortuous death on the Cross so that believers could act no different from non-believers.
Again, I wish that I could stop writing after the above. But, sadly, there are some other practices that I must address.
The next falls under the category known as “BDSM”. That stands for “bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism”. (Again, if you do not know what those individual words mean, then look them up elsewhere.) Think about the very first word in that category: bondage. God delivered the Israelites from bondage in Egypt. It is the nature of the unsaved world to want to dominate people around them and keep them in bondage — whether it is physical, emotional, financial, etc. The ultimate form of bondage is when people end up “bound” in Hell. So, why would a Christian couple want to even think about “playing around” with sexual bondage?? The other three words in that category are even more harsh forms of the same concept. It is absolutely disgusting that pastors are condoning any forms of cruelty toward another person (especially one’s spouse!) as a form of “pleasure”. It is even more disgusting that they are claiming that — merely because a couple has “a piece of paper” in hand — that such practices are in any way “pleasing to God”. That is blasphemy!!
As bad as the above is, there is another category that is being condoned by pastors: “golden showers”. That is an extension of the concept of bondage, taking it a step farther into “humiliation”. It is a case of one person dominating another person — and, in this case, to a humiliating degree. It is absolutely appalling that any pastor would condone such practices as mere “play” between spouses!
Some people might try to make the lame argument that, “Well, the Bible doesn’t mention any of those things, and so they must not be prohibited.” As believers and followers of Jesus, we are expected to be guided by the Holy Spirit and thus to have “the mind of Christ”. So, I say simply to read Ephesians 5:12 again. We are expected to have “the law of God written upon our hearts”, and thus not need to have every sin spelled out.
Speaking of the mind, let’s go back and examine the mindset behind one aspect of sexual bondage. Some women were raised to believe that “sex is bad”. (By now, if you have read my explanation of the Song of Solomon, then you must realize that God made sex to be “very good”.) Because those girls grow up believing that “sex is bad”, they go into marriage feeling guilty about feeling good during sex. That creates a moral and emotional conflict. In a vain attempt to absolve themselves of this guilt, they sometimes develop “the rape fantasy”. (Sadly, this is much more common in modern society than most people will admit.) In this mind game, the woman imagines that she is so desirable that men (even her husband) will want to rape her. Getting raped, in her mind, takes away any sort of responsibility for the act of sex, and places it all upon the man. Of course, they are not actually getting raped by their husbands. But, some try to introduce bondage into the marriage bed as a means of further acting out their rape fantasy — thus making themselves feel “innocent” of any pleasure during sex — even during marriage. Over time, this twisted mindset can cause other spin-off problems in the marriage.
One of those spin-off problems — especially if the wife does not communicate her inner thoughts to her husband — is that the husband will feel insulted and undesirable when the wife suggests bringing bondage into the marriage bed. Why? In the husband’s mind, he is wondering why the wife feels the need to be “tied up” in order to have sex. She says that it’s “fun”. But, it makes him feel as if either a) she is thinking about someone else instead of him, or b) she cannot enjoy sex with him unless she is “forced” because she no longer finds him attractive. Either way, this is like an emotional termite infestation — gradually destroying the foundation of the marriage.
God has provided a simple way to avoid all those problems: enjoy sex!! Enjoy it just the way that He created it. Have all the fun you want, as long as it remains inside the boundaries. If you feel that you need to “improve upon” the design that God has for sex, then you are in danger of rebellion against Him. And, if you are a pastor that is condoning or encouraging people to go outside of those boundaries, then you are in even greater danger of Hell’s flames.
